my website

For more information on Prospective visit our website. For my other life as an actress click here.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Kickstarter

My friend Eric Loya and I are starting a literary journal, and were approved for a Kickstarter. We have 17 days to raise $2500. The pledge levels range from $1-$2000, and come with varying levels of awesome SWAG. The more you pledge the more you get. $50 bucks will get your name on the "Thank you page", a pdf of the magazine, a print copy of the magazine, a writing journal with the first issue's cover art, and a t-shirt with the first issue's cover art.

Every little bit helps, and more than that if we get off the ground we may be able to publish some of your work.

Thank you for reading, here is the link

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/591497086/prospective-a-journal-of-speculation

Lauren

P.S.

Please forward the link to anyone you think may be interested. Thank you again.

P.P.S
If you are worried about not having enough money for Christmas shopping, the way Kickstarter works, is if we don't reach our goal your financial obligation goes away. If we do reach our goal then the amount you pledged will be deducted from your bank account, through Amazon, after the fundraising period ends, which is December 26th, just in time to deposit that ten dollar check from grandma that you never know what to do with. Now you could turn that random trip to the bank into a print copy of "Werewolves and Other Bitches" and a awesome thank you to your grandma in print, in every copy of the journal.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Regarding the Events at CSULB

The argument has been made that this is a matter of free speech or free press, that the article represents Noah's opinions only and I take issue with that. Had Noah published this article on his own personal website or an independent paper that was not affiliated with the college there would be some controversy but it would not be to this magnitude. There are several things to take into account when reviewing this "article".

First, it is presented as a serious piece of journalism, which requires responsibility on the part of the reporter. I am an English major at CSULB and have dabbled in journalism. When reporting a journalist is supposed to provide a fair, balanced, accurate and responsible product, this article was not fair, balanced, responsible or even appropriately researched.

Second, the facts of the article are either subjective or incorrect. The only objective fact in the article is inaccurate, Noah states the Powwow is an all day event, the CSULB Powwow is a two day event, and generally has fallen on the second weekend of March for at least the past 20 years, if not since its inception I will not claim to know if all 41 years have been the second weekend of March. I have only been on this planet for 27 years and really cognoscente of Powwow in any intelligent way since I was seven, although I have been to Powwow virtually every year of my life, my first experience in my mother’s womb.

Third, the placement of the article, had this been published under the opinion section or even in the Grunion the controversy would be lessened because it is not purported to be a piece of news.

Fourth, the last line of the article immediately preceding also written by Noah, "Words can be powerful, and the more open and upfront we can be with each other without judgment and bias, the closer we can get to not participating in unacceptable behavior". It is obvious that Noah is capable of writing a thoughtful article on a sensitive subject, that the same care or consideration is not extended to racially charged material is disconcerting, although reducing rape and sexual assault to "unacceptable behavior" seems to diminish the power of those acts and is a little off the mark as well.

Fifth, the dietary issue, if Noah wrote an equally scathing article about the donuts sold on campus or french fries or burgers and the promotion of unhealthy dietary choices by allowing fast food chains on campus then perhaps there would be more substance to his complaint about frybread, to be fair he may have written a piece like this in the past that I am unaware of, but as this is my first semester at CSULB I have not seen any such article written by him. Additionally, I would like to know what video he watched about frybread, because I am sure they would have discussed that frybread is res. food, the result of government rations sent to reservations, and when all you have is flour, sugar and oil to feed your children the result is some kind of fried dough. Also, the naming of Indian tacos/hamburgers/dogs, is for ease of clarification that it comes on a piece of frybread. Most of these meals were the result of need not want, most traditional native food is very healthy consisting of wild rice, berries and local game, the so called “unhealthy native diet” is a constraint of the US government forcing native people onto reservations, I personally believe that this government sanctioned diet has a direct correlation to the rise in type two diabetes in the Native community.

Sixth, the blanket dance analogy. The dance in which people were throwing money on the ground without a context is inflammatory enough but becomes appalling when taken into context. I have always called it a blanket dance, or an offering dance other people may have other names for his type of dance but generally the dance is to benefit a member of the community who is going through a hardship or has had a tragedy befall them. According to my mother who is on the Powwow committee there were two blanket dances, one of which was for a man whose two sons were murdered. It is Noah's duty as a reporter to get all of his facts straight before reporting rather than passing judgment. Additionally, the ground was blessed on Saturday morning, so in addition to CSULB being built on Puvugna the ground was rededicated as sacred land. There is nothing "crass or borderline obscene" about giving an offering on sacred land to a fellow member of your community who lost his sons.

Responsibility in reporting should be a primary focus of any paper, particularly a university publication because this is where the journalists of tomorrow are being reared. The irresponsible actions of the Union require proportionate consequences, and I hope the university, AIS and President Alexander take that into consideration when next year’s budgetary negotiations arrive.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Punch in the Neck-an etymology

When people call you a son of a bitch, they aren't saying that your mother is a dog, or that even your mother is a bitch, but that you are kind of an asshole. Which when people are calling you an asshole, they are not saying that you are a sphincter that emits fecal matter but that you are a jerk. Now when people call you a jerk they are not saying that you are an involuntary spasm, but that you are being a pain in the ass. And when people call you a pain in the ass they are not saying that you are a build up of lactic acid in their gluteous maximus or possibly a foreign object that has penetrated the region but that you are a frustrating person who should be punched in the neck. Now when they say you should be punched in the neck they don't actually want to punch you in the neck they just think that you need to be taught a lesson. And really when they say you need to be taught a lesson it means you should knock your shit off. And by knock your shit off they mean they want you to behave like an adult. So by saying you want to punch someone in the neck you are effectively saying that you want people to act like respectful adults instead of acting like impetuous children running around like asshole, jerky, sons of bitches who are a pain in the ass. Really a very effective four word phrase.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Drugs

Last week I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. On Tuesday I was prescribed three new drugs to manage this new disease. A baby asprin to protect my heart, a high blood pressure medication to protect my kidneys, and metformin to help manage my blood sugar levels. The doctor also increased my Thyroid dosage. One of these drugs has made me a little bit manic. Not sure which, could be all four but in any event I have an excess of very strange energy. My mind already makes strange connections without the aid of uppers but now it seems constant, which I guess is good for my lit and creative writing classes but not so good when anti-abortion protesters invade my college and I end up screaming things at them like "I want to have an abortion on your face" or "All you make me want to do is go have unprotected sex with my boyfriend, so I can have an abortion and mail it to a senator", these reactions to my medication are not good. Funny and wrong, but not good. In any event I hope this levels out soon for the sake of all those around me, particularly Travis. Manic girlfriend is all kinds of bad, mostly because manic girlfriend only needs like 5 or 6 hours of sleep and boyfriend needs 10. We have entered a new danger zone.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Conclusions

I don't know if it has something to do with the fact that it is 6:50am and I am awake because the puppies are like little alarm clocks that go off at 6:30 every morning waiting for breakfast or the fact that it is silent except for a bird's chirping and the puppies' gnawing on bones and this rhythm has made me contemplative but for whatever the reason or impetus I am thinking about conclusions. A lot of things are coming to an end in my life right now and a lot of things are just beginning. As you might know I am getting divorced, which is a long, tedious, frustrating process and I am going back to school. I am pretty sure that I will be able to graduate in the fall which will be a full semester ahead of schedule. This is a conclusion I am looking forward to. The whole divorce thing is a bucket of sad. The whole process is full of unnecessary events that have essentially destroyed a 17 year relationship. I don't know if it is my fault for not seeing things more clearly or if it is even possible to see through a haze of lies.

I am one of those people who would rather be hit in the face than lied to. The worst thing you can do in a relationship is lie to your partner. You can work with bad actions but you can't do anything with lies. There is no way to correct a lie, because even if you fess up after the lie has been told the other person feels betrayed and questions whether or not they can trust you. It's like cheating, I wouldn't be afraid of the past action I would be afraid of what it means a person is capable of. If you can so easily step out of a relationship once, you can do it again. It's the again that makes you crazy. It's the again that starts petty fights, and it's the again that destroys the relationship.

I feel like I have this very bi-polar life right now. I think I am doing well in school, we really haven't had enough grades to gauge anything yet, I am with a man that I love and we have wonderful puppies. At the same time I am going through this increasingly messy divorce and was diagnosed with diabetes last week. I feel like whenever one area starts to get good some other random crap pops up and all you can do is look forward to the conclusion of the crap.

I would not change my life with anyone, because for the most part I am happy and incredibly well adjusted, but sometimes I wonder why the FUCK does this shit have to happen to me?

The only conclusion I have been able to come up with is I can take it.

I have always been too honest and too trusting for my own good, but I would rather be that way then a cynical, manipulative, selfish, self-serving, irresponsible, callous waste of space. I attract those kinds of people, I think all good natured people do. We are magnets for others bullshit and we try to fix them. We think that maybe our positivity will rub off on them, but this is a losing battle and eventually you have to cut your losses and sometimes run.

So I am running. Running my fingers over these keys, running my mouth to people who can help me and probably running away from an insurmountable mountain of debt that has been accrued in my name over the last three years. I am starting over in a way that I never wanted to start over at a time where I feel like I am finally settled, which is a good thing. But most of all I just want to stop being chased by a frantic little boy who all he seems to want to do is hurt me because he is afraid that I am leaving him, and after 17 years of chasing and being bitten around the ankles and bleeding for this person while he gets to go out and play every day, I've said enough. So now he gets his fearful wish fulfilled, I have left him because at this point I don't need a parasitic child that I didn't give birth to. Instead I choose to share my life with a man who makes every moment of my life calmer. I think that's the best conclusion I have ever reached.